Shabbat Shalom. I begin this morning by extending tremendous gratitude to each and everyone of you and my Shard ascetic family for the opportunity to get a little vacation time and to travel. I also want to say a big thank you to the synagogue leadership for the opportunity, as well as Rabbi Dahlen, who held down the Fort so wonderfully in in my absence so thank you very much and we wish him a happy birthday yesterday was his birthday, so till 120 Rabbi Dahlen,

If I start to fall asleep a little bit or if I don’t make any sense at all, I have a good excuse. We are just back from Italy, the first time the Starr family has ever been to Europe. Interesting experience. Many months ago, Rebecca came to me and she said, you know, Rabbi,

Right, that’s what all Rebbetzins, how they refer to their husband, she said, Rabbi, she said sacred time plus sacred space equals sacred relationships, right, because that’s how all Rebbetzins speak to their husbands the rabbi’s sacred time plus sacred space equals sacred relationships. If we want to continue to strengthen and build loving memories with our family, we should take sacred time, find sacred space, and thereby deepen our sacred relationships. Ok, the cat’s out of the bag you figured it out Rebecca didn’t exactly say it to me like that. She said our little babies are growing up. One of them is almost out of the nest.

And she said we work really hard at our jobs. Let’s take a big vacation now of course, in my head I said I hate travelling. Do I really have to leave home? But we’ve been married nearly 24 years and so I knew the right answer to the question, which wasn’t really a question but the right response to the statement was, of course, yes, dear. So we boarded an airplane the four of us flew through Amsterdam to Italy, where we had an absolutely wonderful vacation.

And again, I’m grateful to each and everyone of you for the opportunity because we first flew into Venice and we’re able to enjoy the gondola rides and the water taxis that are so unique to the canals of Venice. And from Venice we took the high speed train to the South and to the West so that we could come to Florence and gaze upon the Renaissance, Michelangelo’s statue of David. And from there we took the high speed, high speed train even further South as we came to Rome. And there we got to visit the Vatican. The Pope had the chutzpah to be out of town.

Here I come, he leaves i don’t understand but nevertheless, and we got to experience the ancient sites of Rome even more we got to eat pizza and pasta and pasta and pizza and pizza and pasta and pasta and pizza until it was literally coming out of our ears. We got to enjoy amazing time together. Now you know me, I may have also tried a little bit of Italian wine, perhaps a little bit of Italian limoncello, perhaps some Italian grappa. And we had a wonderful, wonderful trip. Thank you for the amazing opportunity. We look forward to sharing with you all about it even more at lunch.

If you want four different stories about our Italian adventures, ask each of us individually and I’m sure you’ll hear 4 very different stories about our experiences. Now mind you, this was my first time in Europe, and so I brought with me some baggage. Now I don’t mean luggage, I mean baggage because as the grandchild of Holocaust survivors, I can’t help but see any aspect of Europe through those eyes. And so sure enough, in Rome, we of course visited the Colosseum and we saw the Arch of Titus evidence that after the Romans destroyed our Holy Temple and took countless Jewish slaves hostage back with them to Rome, they used that slave labor to build that Coliseum, and they used the money that they plundered from the Holy Temple to pay for it.

And of course, in Florence, as we gazed upon the statue of David, we noted, well, I never really noted, I read about it. He’s uncircumcised in the statue. You’re going to see the statue differently now. Why is he uncircumcised? Because even Michelangelo, who knew his Hebrew Bible backward and forward, still couldn’t bring himself to make David look too Jewish. And then of course, we were in Venice, the very first ghetto ever. It seems that the word ghetto actually comes from an Italian word for copper, foundry, because when the Venetians wanted to punish the Jews and try to convince them to convert to Christianity, they forced them all into this really destitute, impoverished area, ultimately calling it the ghetto.

And it was done, we know, throughout Europe, certainly throughout Italy, because we had the opportunity in each and every place to visit those ghettos, those sites where the Christians of Italy tried to make life so unbearable for us Jews that we might convert, that they kept cramming us into smaller and smaller areas and taking more and more from us. That also is the Italian experience, even though in a very bizarre way, each and every ghetto now has phenomenal kosher food and restaurants that you can go enjoy.

That’s where Chabad has taken hold. And throughout Chanukah, in three different Italian cities, we were able to go, thanks to Chabad, to big communal Chanukiah lightings and celebrations. To experience Italy through Jewish eyes is an incredible celebration of strength and a recognition of our vulnerability over the years because it’s one of our final destinations just next to the Colosseum is, of course, the Arch of Titus that depicts Titus’s victory over the Jews and carrying the the menorah from the Holy Temple into Rome. Now, you know, for 2000 years after Jews were paraded as slaves into Rome, and then Titus built that arch, Jews were forbidden from actually walking under that arch.

And it was until 1948 when the state of Israel came into being, that the Jews of Rome for the first time in 2000 years, walked under that arch. And they did so very intentionally backward, not retracing the steps of our ancestors, but reversing the steps of our ancestors on their way back to the Promised land. To see Europe, to see Italy through Jewish eyes is a complex affair.

Now we turn this week in our Torah portion to parshat Vayigash. And because I don’t want to spoil the ending of the Torah for you, we make our way into slavery and of course, out. But as we come to the Book of Genesis, what we start to see are the elements that lead to our slavery, the steps that ultimately bring us to our oppression in Egypt. But that’s not the central story of vayigash, of our Torah portion this week. And in fact, I might argue that parshat vayigash in our Torah portion this week is actually the access point on which the entire Torah rests. Why? Because we’ve been reading for the last several weeks, ever since we began the Book of Genesis, about how families just can’t get along.

We of course go back to Cain and Abel and the very first instance of fratricide at the very beginning of our Torah, when Cain kills Abel. We read about Abraham’s sons Isaac and Ishmael, and how they can’t get along. And we read about Isaac and how his sons Jacob and Esau don’t get along. And this becomes a story of Genesis throughout the many weeks until of course, we come to Joseph, who dominates most of Genesis, and what Joseph’s brothers did to him by throwing him into a pit in their rage of jealousy, by selling him into slavery, and ultimately how Joseph makes his way into prison in Egypt.

Each stage of Joseph’s life he gets lower and lower until finally there in Egypt, God intervenes and brings Joseph stage by stage up until Joseph is the second most powerful man in all of Egypt. And that is where we come to our Torah portion this week by Yigosh as the second most powerful man in all of Egypt. Joseph is finally reunited with his brothers and he sees in them an incredible change as they do Teshuva, as Joseph sees that his brothers are now mature and seeking to care for one another, to support one another.

When Joseph finally reveals himself to them as their long lost brother Joseph, they cry, they embrace. This is the moment of the great reconciliation of the children of Israel, when we become family once again. And it is in direct response to all of the family strife that existed before, that we see the great pinnacle of our reconciliation, that which will allow us, when we are enslaved in Egypt, to stay strong as a family, to become a great and mighty nation. And so that when God leads us out, the entire rest of the Torah is all about creating sacred time and creating sacred space so that we can build sacred relationships.

Because as Rabbi Neil Hartman teaches so beautifully, in order to put God first, we actually have to put God second. That what God wants most of all is for us to fulfill the mitzvah, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. That is perhaps the most important mitzvah of the entire Torah, this idea that we are obligated one toward another. And we actually see it so beautifully after the great reconciliation you’re welcome to turn with me in the hummus. I’m on page 279 after the great reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers, Joseph sends his brothers back to the land of Israel to gather their father Jacob to bring him into Egypt so that Joseph can feed them throughout the great famine that is spread throughout the Middle East.

And Joseph preparing to send his brothers away, says to them beautifully, I’m in again, page two seventy nine chapter, forty five Genesis, verse 24 as Joseph sent his brothers off on their way, Joseph told them do not be quarrelsome on the way. There’s a beautiful discussion of this in the Talmud, Masechet taanit, where the rabbi’s say, what exactly is Joseph saying and according to the rabbi’s of the Talmud, what Joseph says to his brothers is don’t bring up halacha, don’t bring up Jewish law because you might be inclined to argue over Jewish law. And we want nothing to force you to argue along the way.

What is ultimately Joseph’s advice to his brothers after the great reconciliation? We’re family. Don’t fight. Find ways to agree with each other find things that you could compromise on. Talk about good things rather than focusing on that which separates us, that which we disagree upon, Joseph says to his brothers look, we’re family. Find a way to get along. And as if that were not enough, after the brothers share what happened, there in Egypt. Jacob, now known as Israel, prepares to come down to Egypt, and we see on that same page, beginning with chapter 46 so Israel, that is Jacob, set out with all that was his, probably living in the land of Hevron, where his father and grandfather settled.

Jacob then came to Beersheba where he offered sacrifices to the God of his father, Isaac. That in and of itself may not stand out as unique to you, but as I was just studying a conversation among contemporary rabbis, they said, wouldn’t it make sense for Jacob to go pray to the God of Abraham? After all, Abraham was the man who went down into Egypt and came back out again to the land of Israel.

But that’s not what Jacob does jacob goes and prays to the gods specifically of Isaac it says, why Isaac?

Because Isaac and Jacob had a history of not getting along. And so maybe Jacob went to pray specifically to the God of Isaac with that idea of reconciliation at hand.

We Jews can only build a society based on compassion and justice when we express compassion and justice amongst ourselves. We Jews can only be an Orla goyim, a light under the nations, when we stand strong as a family that cares for each other, that finds ways to get along and support each other. Could you imagine in your own family finding a reason to actually get along, for siblings, parents and children, grandparents and grandkids, to seek out Shalom by peace in the house, even when it’s complicated? Now I’ll tell you we had two very interesting experiences when we were in Italy.

Among the many interesting experiences on Chavez on Friday nights we were in Florence. And so Rebecca, who planned the entire trip, kudos to Rebecca, scheduled for us a wonderful Shabbat dinner at a local kosher restaurant right next to the synagogue of Florence. And we were there with a couple from Australia and a family from South Africa. What did we have in common? We spoke English. That was pretty convenient. Three different Jewish families from three different continents. And we sat and had a family meal together. We talked about anti-Semitism in each other’s communities. We talked about the strengths of the Jewish community.

We talked about Israel. Because when Jews come together, even though they’ve never met, when Jews come together from every corner of the world, it’s like a big family reunion. And then I’ll admit to you, a few days later, we also went to a pizza making class because when in Rome.

Now, the coffee making class, by the way, was much better but that’s OK, we can talk about that another time. We’re now professional baristas if you need. So we went to this pizza making class. Pizza, not the most complicated of things to make, but we learn how to make the dough and spread the sauce just so and of course, the cheese and not to put the bacon and the pepperoni and the salami on the pizza. We happen to be in this class with two other families, one of them American, born clearly of Arab descent, who are now spending their time between Egypt and Saudi Arabia.

And there was another family, spoke just a little bit of English, but they were from Poland originally. And here this could be a bit of a recipe for disaster as you’ve got the Jewish family with the Arab family with the Polish family. And thank God it was a perfectly wonderful class because we were all there with our families we just wanted to celebrate family time. But when we sat down at the table together to eat our pizza that we had made, each for ourselves, and the tiramisu, which by the way, is Italian for pick me up why? Because have you ever seen how much coffee and sugar goes into tiramisu? Each family, by and large, kept to themselves.

We couldn’t find real areas to talk about, or maybe we just didn’t want to. Fascinating just how it evolved naturally on its own.

But what we learned from our Torah portion this week, we’re reminded that the end of the day, each family wants to pursue a sacred relationship amongst themselves. And we Jews, our Jewish family extends to every corner of the world in good ways and in challenging ways. Now when we were in Venice, the beautiful streets of Venice, I’ll admit that there was lots of graffiti that said free Palestine and Israel equals genocide. At the same time, we were welcomed warmly with our Jewish friends and the other Jews celebrating Chanukah. Thank God for the Starr family creating sacred time to go away. Finding a place and the sacred places there led to an even more sacred relationship among our family.

And that’s what the rest of the Torah will tell us over the rest of the year in which we read. They were obligated to create sacred time and sacred space and then lead to sacred relationships. Because you shall love your neighbor as you love yourself. As we go forward into the coming weeks and we read about our descent into Egypt and our oppression and our slavery, and we come back out, may we remember that we survive only as a family.

May we remember that we are strong only as a family. May we remember our obligation to create sacred time just like this, in a sacred space just like this, so that we can have sacred relationships among us. May God bless the Jewish people wherever we go, in each and every land in which we dwell, and may we always see each other as family. Ken yehi ratzon and may this be God’s will and let us see together.